Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to rekindle romance in your relationship.
Romance can fade over time. After all, we get busy in our lives. We settle into routines and forget to give each other the kind of attention that we did when we first started dating.
However, relationships need romance. Therefore, it’s important to find ways to regularly bring it back. Valentine’s Day is a good reminder for that each year.
Therefore, here are ten ways that you might rekindle romance in your own relationship this year.
1. Establish or Keep a Valentine’s Day Tradition
Some routines are boring and get us in a rut. However, the right routines can be a way to connect with your partner. Holiday traditions offer that because each holiday builds upon the memories and romance of the past. If you have a Valentine’s Day tradition, rekindle romance by making sure to stick with it this year. If you don’t have one, now is the year to establish one together.
2. Make Love Maps
Psychologists John and Julie Gottman offer a tool called Love Maps, which is designed to increase romance at any stage of a relationship. First, you make a list of all of the facts that you know about your partner (their likes, dislikes, birthplace, friends, dreams, etc.) Then you brainstorm a list of questions about things you don’t know about your partner. After that, you discuss the Love Maps in an open, non-judgmental way. It’s a great opportunity to get to know each other again, which is key if you want to rekindle romance after being together for a long time.
3. Make Love
Making Love Maps is a great tool. Of course, making love is just as important. Take your time. Embrace foreplay. Try new things together. Look in each other’s eyes. Check in with each other about how it feels.
4. Give Each Other Meaningful Gifts
Skip the diamonds. Instead, take the time to select Valentine’s gifts for one another that show true thoughtfulness, attention, and care. Get your creative juices flowing and create a scrapbook, write a song, or design a video that highlights some of your best memories together. On the other hand, you could find a gift of any price that really speaks to the inner passions that your partner shares. After all, showing them that you really know them is a great way to be romantic.
5. Flirt Throughout the Day
Many couples are busy during Valentine’s Day, working or doing whatever they normally do. They make a Valentine’s Night date and consider that enough. However, you can ramp up the anticipation and rekindle romance before the night’s date. Send each other flirtatious text messages, voice messages, and emails.
6. Have a Quiet Date
Dates with all of the bells and whistles can certainly be a lot of fun. If you’re the kind of couple that loves performance art, multi-course dinners, or adventurous activities then that might be what you have in mind for Valentine’s Day. However, those things don’t always give you the opportunity to truly connect with one another. Rekindle romance by foregoing the dramatics and enjoying a quiet date instead. A hand-in-hand walk or a homemade dinner can provide a great opportunity to just be together, without distractions, to rekindle romance and see what unfolds.
7. Share What You Love About Each Other
Take turns sharing one thing that you love about the other person. It could be a character trait, an action that they’ve taken, or a memory you treasure. Furthermore, challenge each other to keep coming up with more things. Giving and showing appreciation is sexy and can be a great way to rekindle your connection.
8. Look Back Through Photographs
One great way to remember what you initially loved about one another is to look back on all of the photos and videos that you have taken over the years. Tell each other stories about the different things that you have done together. Share thoughts about where you were then and where you are now. Each of you has a narrative about how you got to be the couple that you are. See if you can retell that story in a way that feels right to each of you.
9. Do Something Silly to Rekindle Romance
Life can get so stressful. It helps if we can laugh. Embrace a Valentine’s Day that tickles your funny bone. Whether you attend a comedy show, engage in a playful game, or watch a favorite funny movie, laughing together is a great way to spend the day.
10. Plan Something Together
Spend Valentine’s Day making plans that you can both look forward to in the weeks and months to come. Plan to take a class together. Begin working on summer vacation plans. Make a five-year plan for how you want your lives to unfold together. This gives you the opportunity to continue to rekindle romance long after Valentine’s Day has passed.
If you need help to rekindle romance in your relationship, therapy can help. Learn more about my approach here.