You’ve got so much to do before the wedding.
So many invitations to mail, people to organize, food to plan, flowers to order, playlists to approve. And don’t forget the counseling sessions.
Counseling sessions? Before the wedding? Yes. Definitely.
In fact, premarital counseling should probably top the list.
Because a beautiful wedding does not a lasting marriage make. And the journey you and your sweetheart are about to take deserves more than just your hopes for the best. Your love deserves experienced guidance and the sense that you’ve done all you can to prepare your minds for a “forever love” that actually lasts that long.
Divorce rates are high. Premarital counseling matters.
Loving intentions and poetic promises just don’t provide the kind of communicative foundation and mutual agreements needed to ensure your marriage survives and thrives.
The United States currently reports some pretty disheartening divorce statistics. Premarital counseling is actually one of the best ways to ensure your walk down the aisle is as well-prepared as possible.
Why is premarital counseling so important?
It comes down to effective communication and conflict management. They make marriage work.
Essentially, you need to talk about your marriage before you marry. A counselor can help you see and talk about your marriage practically and realistically in the following ways and more:
1. Premarital counseling can foster a strong sense of your relationship “brand.” It can save you misunderstanding, distress, and resentment to build a base of healthy communication around your core values, expectations, and even those topics you’re fairly certain you may never agree upon. A sense of genuine teamwork and deep connection can be forged. Any areas of incompatibility can be examined safely and openly.
2. Premarital counseling can help you adjust to life with the in-laws. As your wedding planning may have revealed, joining two families of origin can be tricky. It’s a good idea to meet with an objective third party who can help you decide what your joint boundaries will be and how to support each other.
3. Premarital counseling can be an invaluable, long-term relationship resource. Time spent now on your relationship with a professional teaches tools you won’t forget. Thus, when difficulties arise, you’ll have a positive experience with counseling to remind you of the value in seeking professional guidance.
Not sure you want to open up any communication cans of worms?
That’s exactly why you need premarital counseling! Those topics you have niggling doubts about (or may be actively avoiding) are best addressed now.
Moreover, the support of an objective therapist is an advantage as he or she can help you and your partner identify unproductive patterns of interaction. Your work together can highlight what works and what doesn’t, long before your honeymoon ends.
Premarital relationship work encourages a more satisfying, secure shift into married life. With effective communication skills built during the early days of your relationship, you ensure you have the mental preparation needed to recognize problems and address them proactively for the protection of your connection.
So, what kinds of things will you talk about in premarital counseling?
Clarify and explore relationship expectations
Are you or your fiancé unknowingly bringing unrealistic or conflicting expectations to your life together?
Working through differing points of view, prior to the wedding supports a much healthier union. Exploring and determining mutual relationship goals is ideal. Key factors in married life like financial matters, family planning, and intimacy may be openly and positively addressed before they become unyielding points of conflict.
Proactively work through the influences of past relationships
Do your parents, former partners, or any significant others in your past affect your connection?
Sometimes a couple’s relationship histories can weigh on a new marriage. If the past carries quite a bit of emotional weight, premarital counseling affords you time to safely process unresolved emotions for the sake of an unburdened future together.
Proactively prep for the needs of your family
Do you or your partner have children from previous relationships?
Work with a counselor now can help you learn how to address the challenges of step-parenting, contact with past partners, and household guidelines as a united front.
Premarital counseling is vital time for strategizing how you will meet the needs of your blending family while carefully nurturing your new marriage.
Keep your feet warm with premarital counseling
Cold feet and jitters are much less likely when you know that you both feel completely prepared. Enjoy the wedding planning, secure in the knowledge that you’ve both done all that you can to create a relationship that is undoubtedly honest, aware, and accepting.
Couples counseling before the wedding is an investment in your “together forever.” Seeking out help early is a wise first step toward keeping your love vibrant and mutually fulfilling. Please contact me for a consultation soon, and for more information about the services that I offer.