It can be difficult to determine if you’re truly ready for commitment. How do you know if you’re really prepared to tackle the ups and downs that accompany being in a serious, everyday relationship?
A committed relationship is far more than promises and romantic gestures. It requires a healthy amount of selflessness and dedication to another person. Therefore, it is completely okay to admit it if you find that you’re not prepared to commit. Be honest with yourself, you may need time to assess your own wants and needs before moving forward.
If, however, commitment is becoming more appealing, the following indicators generally signal that it’s time to take the next relationship step:
You’re content in your relationship with yourself
Ironically, the very first indicator that you’re ready for commitment is that you’ve learned to be completely content and at peace with the fact that you’re single.
You cannot love another person until you first explore your own wants, assess your own needs, and love yourself. Once you’ve put forth the time and effort into becoming the best version of yourself, you can freely open up to the prospect of a relationship. When you’re comfortable with who you are as a person, you won’t have any doubts about moving into commitment. You’ll be able to offer the best version of yourself and you’ll be able to adequately express your emotions and communicate effectively. Accomplishing inner peace promotes a greater ability to give your relationship the attention that it requires without losing yourself in the process.
You feel like there’s nothing holding you back
If there are life experiences or goals you want to accomplish prior to starting a long-term relationship, you may not be ready for commitment yet.
Let’s be honest – relationships are great, but they also require a lot of work. Technically speaking, when you begin a committed relationship, you’re “settling down”, but this doesn’t mean just “settling.”You don’t want to enter into your relationship with any regrets.
Untapped potential or unrealized dreams can come between you and your partner. Especially if you believe the relationship is an obstacle to fulfilling those things. This can sow resentment, eventually creating contempt. If you feel like you are trading your own potential or goals for the relationship, you may begin to unfairly blame your partner for the experiences you sacrificed. Prior to engaging in a serious relationship, make sure you’ve checked off all your singles “bucket list” items and are fully able to forge a new future together.
You’ve evaluated past relationships
Have you taken inventory of your past relationships? Are you able to determine how things went south and what you would do differently?
It’s easy to place blame on our ex-partners and move on. However, it’s important to identify the roles that we played in the demise of our relationships as well. Denial of your relational faults will only set your relationship up for failure.
It’s also important to learn from the experiences in your past relationships. Determine which traits you’re looking for in a partner, and which ones you’d like to avoid. What will you tolerate, and what behaviors, interactions, lifestyle choices are dealbreakers? Discuss these things with your partner. Learning from past experiences is the best way to ensure a more successful future.
You’re ready to be vulnerable
Sure, having fun is a crucial part of every relationship, but it’s not the only part. If you’re ready for commitment, you should be looking for someone that you’re willing to share your life with. Serious relationships require you to be emotionally available. You should feel safe to open up to each other and keep each other’s confidence. Expressing your true self and exposing your insecurities is vital. It should come with the understanding that you will be loved regardless.
Deciding whether you’re ready for commitment can be tricky and it may require more than answering a few questions here. If you’re unsure whether you’re prepared for a serious relationship please contact me. Together, we can explore your relational needs.