Some people find that the holidays feel less lonely than other times of the year.
After all, your calendar may be filled with events, parties, and gatherings. There are often so many things to do. There are so many people to see.
However, for single people, the holidays can be challenging. Even though you may be surrounded by loved ones, loneliness can creep in.
There’s just something about this time of year that makes people want to couple up. If you’re single, then you can feel particularly vulnerable to the loneliness.
However, loneliness isn’t inevitable just because the holidays are here. In fact, there are many wonderful things about being single during the holidays. If you embrace the following possibilities, you may begin to feel less lonely and more empowered this holiday season.
Make a List and Check it Twice
If you want to feel less lonely this holiday season, you can start now by making a holiday list. In fact, you can make several lists. Don’t worry; these aren’t the “gifts to give” variety. Instead, these are lists to help you to see all of the great things about being single during the holidays.
List the People You Want to See
First, make a list of all of the people that you truly, genuinely, heartfully want to see this holiday season. This isn’t a list of obligations, even though you might feel that you have some. List the people that make you feel less lonely every time that you see them. Once you have the list, start making plans. When you fill your calendar with joyful connections, you feel more fulfilled.
Make another list of all of the things for which you are grateful this year. It’s hard to feel lonely when you feel so thankful for what you do have. You can make one big gratitude list to review when you feel lonely. Alternatively, you can make short lists every day to bring gratitude to your life throughout the season.
A Self-Care List
Make a list of every single thing that you can do on your own to feel less lonely. Prioritize self-care and doing solo activities that you love. Some of the things on this list might include:
- Staying in bed all day to read a novel
- Going to the dog park to play with people’s pets
- Getting a massage at the local spa
- Attending spiritual services
- Learning a new language
Spend the holidays doing things from this list.
List What You’re Glad You Don’t Have to Do
When you’re part of a couple, you choose to do a lot of things that you don’t want to do. Perhaps you always went Christmas caroling because your partner loved it, but you never really enjoyed it. Seeing in-laws, going to your partner’s work parties, and other traditions might have been par for the course, but that didn’t mean you were happy about them.
Make a list of all of the things that you don’t have to do this year because you are single, and you get to do whatever you want. It may seem petty. However, when you start to feel down because others are coupled up, looking at the list might help you feel less lonely.
Additional Tips to Feel Less Lonely this Holiday Season
Of course, making lists isn’t the only thing you can do to celebrate being single this holiday season. Here are some additional tips to consider:
- Go on a date with someone new.
- Join meetups, classes, and community events for singles.
- Journal, meditate, pray, and reflect.
- Volunteer to be of service to others.
- Reduce social media use so you don’t dwell on others’ holidays.
- Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Most of all, remember that loneliness is just a feeling, not a state of being. It will pass. Keep reaching out. Therapy, in particular, can help support you as you work through loneliness. Learn more here or please contact me soon for more support.